So, will you be my valentine?

Whats your middle name? Don’t have one (:

How big is your bed? Single :S And small :/

What are you listening to right now? Australian OPEN :L

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? 7623

What was the last thing you ate? Com Tam (:

Last person you hugged? Lawrence :D

How is the weather right now? Epic hot -.-

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Alanna (:

What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex? face, hair, clothes (:

Favorite type of Food. Japanese :D

Do you want children? We'll see :D

Do you drink? Nope :D

Ever get so drunk you don’t remember the entire night? Nope (:

Hair color? Dark brown and light brown tips.

Eye colour? Brown.

Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope

Favorite holiday? Christmas

Favorite Season? Spring

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? Yes.

Last Movie you Watched? The King's Speech

What books are you reading? :/ Don't really read.

Piercings? My ears; both sides :D

Favorite Movie? Mulan (:

Favorite college football Team? My school doesn't have football :L

What were you doing before filling this out? Webcamming with DOM & playing truth :D

Any pets? :L I got a cat & a kitten :]

Have you ever loved someone? :)

Who would you like to see them right now? Nigahiga :L LOL

Have you ever fired a gun? Nope

Do you like to travel by plane? :L don't mind

Right-handed or Left-handed? Righty tighty.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go? JAPAN (:

Are you missing someone? :L I kind of miss them without having to think that I'm missing them.

Do you have a tattoo? Nope :(

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? :L I'm at tutor

Are you hiding something from someone? LOL I'm hiding a lot from a lot of people. :)

ARE YOU 18? Sadly, no.

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? YES :D but i won't for the next 11 weeks.

FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? S: Don't remember, oh wait. I wonder if my parents are home.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? My phone and moisturiser. :D

GRILLED OR FRIED? BOTH (:

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? I'm multilingual :L AHAHAH. and I'm energetic & enthusiastic.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? :L Depends; if theres anyone with me.

FAVORITE HANGOUT? :/ Idk

3 THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT? Phone, Family & Food.

FAVORITE SONG? :S Too many.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? :/ if I tell you, you'll use it to hurt me. :L

ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? :S a bit of both?

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Little Lamb, Lindaface

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING? Laptop with wifi :L

FIRST THING YOU’LL SAVE IN A FIRE? My family. (:

Whats your favorite color? I don't really think I have one, it kinda depends on what it is.

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU? Phone&headphones&keys&wallet

WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? :/ a pharmacist

DAY 13;

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

JAPAN. :)

DAY 12

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

This was for yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to. :)

• Woke up & brushed my teef (:
• Cut cucumbers
• Ironed clothes
  
• Pack my bag
• Got to the station
  
• Played scrabble on my phone
  
• Changed station & applied sunscreen (8
  
• Met up with Mabel & Alanna & Mel
• Got kicked off the bus by the bus driver -.-
  
• Got to the beach :D
• Met up with everyone else
• Went to test the water with Mabel & Michelle
• Waved at guys who are probably like in year 9 :L LOL
• Cooked meat & ate like a piggy (:
• Then went to the beach, and got owned by the cold water. -.-
• Swallowed a lot of salt water
• Went to rock pool and got dunked by Dom -.-
• Went back into the water :L
• Awesome waves, and then big wave owned us all & then go kicked my alanna 8D
• LOL ohhh, ken bit trang (Y)
  
• Ate some more food :D
• Played cheat with Billy, Zhiying & Clinton :D
• Played POKER with Billy, Feb & Alanna & Anne :D
• Got dared to be a freak LOL.
  
• Made feb kiss allt he boys :D Teehee.
• Had more meat :D
• Left the beach :D
• Had fun bus trip sitting next to dom :D
• And eating sour gummi worms (:
• Train-ed home with michelle & feb (8

* This is for two days ago, i just didn't have time to post it. :(

why does it feel like everything's fake?

DAY 11;

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

1. Long Live - Taylor Swift
2. The Best - Cartel
3. Fools - The Temper Trap
4. The Only Difference Between Matyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage - Panic! At The Disco
5. Genesis - Pendulum
6. Mr. Right Now - Pitfull feat. Akon
7. 8 AM - The Summer Obsession
8. Passenger Seat - The Summer Set
9. For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramore
10. Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic
    

DAY 10;

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.

AHAHAH. You know who you are, and you know what happened. ;) *cough Matt Lanter cough* - i wish. & I love how it says "discuss" like there's no need to discuss things like this.

DAY 09;

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

This statement is very broad, like are we talking about future as in the next two minutes? Two years? Two decades? Two centuries?! I mean I've alreaedy talked about 10 years from the other day. :S Okay well I'll just talk about the future overall. I like thinking about the future, it's probably one of my flaws though, because I should focus more on the future. And usually thinking about the future too much leads to my down fall. Well I'd like to be happy in the future :D with someone *giggle AHAHHA. LOL i sound like a retard -.- Ummm, continuously learning about life and other things :) It will be a bright and wonderful future, I refuse to accept that I'm going to die in 2012, and I hope you wake up on that morning and be like 8) dude I'm alive LOL :L that would be epic. I'd love to have my family around me, wherever I'm gna be. (: I'd like to be successful in terms of my career path, that would be nice. Ahah, idk I need to wrap it up, coz I needa go :) BUT YES HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY , i swear if anyone gets in the way of my happiness -.- i'll freaken own you with my boney arms. :@

DAY 08;

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

Well, I feel really satisfied when I get good marks after working hard. :D Like when I did well for chemistry :) I felt satisfied LOL

DAY 07;

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Gregarious, upbeat and confident, Sagittarians usually have many friends, but their impulsiveness can throw more security-loving types off kilter. Most Sagittarians are brave and generous, and they usually have a desire to help humanity in some way.

Cheerful and Positive

Sagittarians are extroverted, cheerful and optimistic. They believe that things will turn out well, and they trust much to luck. Not much gets them down and they usually rebound quickly from depression, illness or stressful life events. Most enjoy robust health and when they do experience medical problems, it is often the result of over-indulging and risk taking.

Risk Takers

Sagittarians are not prone to anxiety or worry unless the ascendant falls in a more anxiety-prone sign, which makes them natural risk takers. They are inclined to do things that are damaging to their health, or even take physical risks that can endanger their lives. Sagittarians leap before looking and land themselves in various scrapes. However, they have a last-minute luck that often saves them in the end, and they’ll turn around and do it all over again.

Addictive and Sensation Seeking

Sagittarians seek the next challenge and the next big adrenaline rush, and in some cases this sensation seeking can lead to drug abuse. Additionally, although they are energetic, physically strong, muscular and naturally athletic, many become fat or even obese through overeating and drinking. Alcoholism is a common Sagittarian ailment, as they don’t know when to stop and don’t listen to the signals their bodies send them.

Generous and Careless with Money

Sagittarians are altruistic and will sacrifice time, energy and money to help others. They’re generous to a fault and will give their last dollar to someone in need or spend it all on drinks for everyone in the room. Many Sagittarians have big, impractical plans for making money, as well as a penchant for gambling. They win more often than most, but when they lose, they lose big.

Love of Travel

Sagittarians love to travel and often believe that it is a better educator than school. They like to meet people in foreign lands and learn foreign languages. When traveling, they’d rather camp out with the locals than set up in a fancy hotel. Most Sagittarians also like outdoor pursuits such as hiking, camping or kayaking.

Suited to Nontraditional Employment

Sagittarians often have trouble with traditional 9-5 careers. They will not follow the rules if they don’t believe that the rules are right and just. They have the courage to speak up for their convictions and fight for what they believe in, which can lead to clashes with authority. They are also very physical and have trouble with staying put in an office chair for hours on end. Sagittarians have a constant need for movement and novelty, and these requirements should be taken into account when planning a career.

Opinionated and Open-Minded

A Sagittarian quirk is to be open-minded on most subjects but fiercely opinionated on a few pet topics. Some Sagittarians can be tyrannical and bullying, insisting that others conform to their beliefs. This sign is known to have a self-righteous streak. However, most are open-minded and easy going, not worrying much about the things other people say.

Exaggerated Need for Freedom

Sagittarians value freedom far above security. As a result, unless the ascendant falls in the sign of Cancer or one of the dixed signs, many don’t settle down in a relationship too easily. They find the majority of partners too clingy or restrictive, and even those who do settle down will look to the horizon with longing from time to time. This is not a domestic sign. When they do stay put, Sagittarians tend to be messy around the house and most are not particularly good cooks.

Tactless and Insensitive

Although Sagittarians are good at creating fun times and cheering people up, their bluntness can sometimes have the opposite effect. Sagittarians can be honest to the point of cruelty, and will upset more sensitive individuals with their often accurate but not very diplomatic statements. Most Sagittarians can take the truth about themselves, at least more of the truth than others can, and so they seek to impose truths on others even when sensitivity is called for. This is the source of much strife in Sagittarian relationships. Additionally, some Sagittarians have a tendency to exaggerate and brag, which can put others off.

Friendly and Philosophical

Sagittarians are good judges of character, but they’ll hang around with almost anyone, even someone they think is not a very nice person, if they find that person interesting. Deep, profound and expansive subjects are favoured by Sagittarians. They like philosophizing on important ideas and don’t care for small talk.

Spiritually Minded

Sagittarians usually enhance their minds with a lot of reading. Many feed their mystical sides with books that tackle the big questions in life as they seek their personal connection to a higher power or things beyond human understanding. Once they do settle on a religion or a lifestyle, they can become very preachy, much to the annoyance of those around them.

Extroverted and Transient

Sagittarians are friendly people who need a wide variety of acquaintances to spend time with. They don’t like to sit around the house and usually prefer large, exuberant gatherings to small, cozy nights at home with one other person.

Many Sagittarians move from city to city and job to job, always in search of a new challenge or new social interactions. They have trouble finishing what they start, but they cope well with change, adversity and diversity, and their sunny personalities ensure that they make plenty of friends along the way.

*all the bolded & italicised texts are the ones I agree with :)

DAY 06;

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

1. My best feature is probably my face.
2. I'm extremely skinny, and I try to eat more - obviously I don't try hard enough.
3. I'm not particularly smart.
4. I believe in karma - i swear it's haunting me right now, but i'm prepared for the worst.
5. I have some kinda obsession with going to the gym - not because of my image, but because it's fun.
6. I like directions - they take me places.
7. Mulan is one of my favourite movies - espeically the part where they sing "make a man out of you".
8. I love singing, and I sing heaps all the time, on public transport and on walks home.
9. I find myself kind of creative? :S Okay not really. Depends what it is I guess.
10. I like making videos of things.
    
11. I spend most of my time on my laptop, if I'm not at school.
12. Sometimes I prefer public transport over car rides.
13. I like watching clouds and I find them fascinating.
14. I love the sound of rain.
15. I love looking up to the clouds when its raining, and feel like you're washing away everything.
16. I make alot of mistakes, all the time.
17. I think I've lost you - and yes I feel like I've lost a part of me too.
    
18. I like to smile and wave at people.
19. I'm usually friendly.
    
20. When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne, makes me cry.
    
21. I'm not a very interesting person.
22. I realised I'm not much of a listener and I don't know that much about others. :/ I think people know more about me - bad thing, should attempt to fix this.
    
23. No matter what happens, you'll always be a part of me.
    
24. I like watching music concerts.
25. I blog because here I can let out my emotions.
26. I'm a supernova, or a firework, idk both.
    
27. I'm lazy - i don't like being lazy.
28. I love lindor chocolate.
    
29. I apparently have nice nails :L LOL
    
30. I'm not very organised. S:
    

you never use to read my blog, why start now?
why do you get to see how I feel?
and why do I get to know nothing?
all i get is silence and bullshit.

relationships are not for the weak.

there's no such thing as a beautiful goodbye.

So I was watching Delta's concert yesterday (: and I love her live version of Last Night On Earth (:

& here it is. :D

DAY 05

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

I don't really want to talk about this, because it's going to look like I'm some attention seeking bitch. -.- But, I don't really think about ending my life, I think that's too extreme. But there are times where I wish things would be better, and even though the thought of death seems somewhat extraordinary, living seems to have more surprises. And I'm not done living yet, there's so many things I still have to do. Even, if things are going to be shit, and it feels like I'm not going to get out of this "recession\depression" - yes using terms from the business cycle, there'll be a boom, and things will get better.

DAY 04

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Umm, i think religion is pretty interesting and its fascinating to see the wacky values and traditions that people follow. :L So i'm actually studying religion at school. I understand that
religion gives us a basic view on what our morals should be and how we should apply ourselves
in life. Religion is wonderful for that purpose, but seriously there are some people who are too obsessed and that's just a bit freaky. So again, everything is alright in moderation i guess. :S

this hurts so much.

i wear your jacket to sleep, it gives me comfort, now that you're not here anymore.

talk to me.

you know what? this doesn't hurt, not at all.

DAY 03;

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Well, I guess alcohol is good for you, in moderation assuming you're over the age limit :D And from all those movies, it's meant to make you forget right? But I don't really think it has the capacity to do that. I mean if you're thinking about it that much, alcohol isn't going to make it go away. And well drugs, I don't really know, but apparently it feels really good? LOL I haven't had any so I wouldn't know, and I don't think I ever will, cause I'll get addicted and go crazy LOLOLOL :L I THINK THIS TOPIC IS STUPID and Idk how else to answer it LOL.

I want to fucking write I LOVE YOU in the sky, so the whole world can see.

You can't hold on and let go at the same time. It's impossible.

DAY 2;

Day 02 - Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

Date: 18.01.2022;

Wow, 10 years. That's a decade, and I've only lived through like 1 & 7/10s of 2 decades. Okay, well where should I start? I'd be 27, eww that sounds sooo old. Ahaha, I would like to have completed university, in some sort of degree in science :) probably at UNSW. I would like to have a job which I find fascinating, even if it doesn't pay that well. Single or in a relationship, doesn't really matter, as long as I'm happy; that'd be epic. I'd like to still be in touch with my bffls; i mean that's why they're called bffls right? I'd like to see my parents retired (: and you know just chilling at home with me :) that'd be cool ; it's be cool if my sister and I could bond more, though we'd still have that age gap. But I seem to be maturing now, even though she's stopped, so hopefully we'd be able to bond more than we are now. Ahha, i'd LOVE to be STRESSFREE! that would be like epic epic epic epic ! :D Ahaha, i doubt it. But yeah, that seems to sum it up. Actually I think anything is better than where I am now.

♪ ; No Good - Erick Right.
; "i don't deserve the boy that I got, i'm no good."

You can't just play with people's feelings.

DAY 1 ;

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

AHAHAHAH. Whatta joke -.- I guess the first step is always the hardest right? Okay doke! Single lifee... Greaaaat, yeah alrighty, this probably doesn't make much sense as you're reading this. It doesn't even make sense to me. Yeah idk, it's pretty crabby -.- That's all I'm going to say.

New Challange - Taken from TUMBLR.

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - Your beliefs.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.

Have you held hands with anybody in the last 4 days?
Nooope.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with L?
D: Too bad I can't kiss myself. :L

If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
Ummm (: tongue :P

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back?
HAVE I EVER?

How many times have you cried in a person’s arms?
Too many.

Do you have condoms in your room?
:L Naaah bro.

Do you still talk to the person you liked 7 months ago?
When you change the word "like" to "love", we'll talk.

Would you rather kiss someone 5 years older or 5 year younger?
Older please (:

When was the last time you felt like throwing up?
Just a few days ago.

Think back to this time last year, were you happy?
Fuckyes. I had everything, and now i've got nothing.

If you were given a pregnancy test, would it be negative?
8) I'm a very good girl (A)

Four months ago, can you remember who you liked, who was it?
Like, i didn't like anyone.

Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily?
Yeah.

Do you ever get good morning messages from anyone?
:/ I use to, ACTUALLY I DO . Alanna <3

Do you know what the last person you kissed is doing?
Tutor.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?
AHAHHAHA. -.-

How does it feel to be heart broken?
Can't describe it.

Do you currently have a hickey?
:L BAHAHAH i wish.

Do you like holding hands?
Yes.

Do you enjoy wearing dresses?
Yeah, but I don't have many.

Do you think you will ever be married?
That's a long way away.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?
$40000 :D

Tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
I don't like anyone.

Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
That's not a question.

Where is the person you dislike the most?
:S Idkm don't think about it.

Do you think you will kiss someone tomorrow?
Nope, i don't think i'll kiss anyone for the rest of the year. - my gfs are the only exception.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
Feels like I've already lost him.

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
Noope, I just have everything that I need.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
In my bed, having one of the best dreams ever.

Have you ever dated someone who treated you like crap?
Define crap.

Do you think you can last for an hour without talking?
:L All the time.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J or T?
Yes.

Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
idk; prolly a chick, Sooji .

How many people do you trust?
S: idk cbb to count.

Could you live with your best friend?
that'd be epic.

Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
ahah, that's a mystery.

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
nooope (:

if i said I love you, would you believe me?
if i told you I'm nothing without you?
if i said without each other, we're like no one.

RENOVATIONS.

i'll be here,

even if the road ends.

happy 17th birthday dear,
you know who you are.
wish I could spend time with you today,
but you'll do fine without me.
i know i say this really often,
but i mean it, that no matter what
happens, i'll always be here for you,
just like all those times you were there for me.
i love you dear, and trust me, i know that for sure.

If I could delete parts of my memory, somewhat like a CPU.

Let's play hide & seek, oh WAIT caught you.

I'm more of a "I'm going to be honest with you, even though it's going to hurt."
You're more of a "I'm going to hide this from you, so you don't get hurt."
Different worlds.

rajksjdkalsjdiasdjaskdjaskdj a -.-

Kelly Clarkson- Behind These Hazel Eyes

eff.

this.

i'm living a nightmare.
all i can think about is one topic,
and seriously it's driving me crazy.
it keeps me up in the middle of the night,
and i even have nightmares about it.
i just want it all to stop.

effing reasonable be.

words are precious.

I never thought things would be this hard,
but they are. Sitting in the same room as you,
and not being able to say anything. It hurts.
And I guess this is really pointless,because
I've lost you forever. And I'm terrible at
this waiting game, and I don't really know
how long this is going to take.

i'm gone.

insomnia.

this hurts.

i realise how much you loved me.
what i did was wrong.
i regret it so much.
if i could take it back i would.
i know it hurts.
i abused your trust.
you want nothing to do with me.
i wouldn't want anything to do with me either.
i don't think i can find an excuse for my actions.
i broke your heart.
what have i become?
i can't even look myself in the mirror.
i let the monster within me take control.
and look at the people i've hurt.
i ripped them apart, and i don't know if i can fix this.
i never thought i'd become this person.
i guess this shows that i don't even know myself.

if i could rewind and take it back.

honestly, i don't know what to say.
i can't use words to describe how i feel
without confusing you.
i dug a hole for us, but i left you there by yourself.
i don't even know if i reached out to you,
would you give me your hand?
or are we broken beyond repair?
are we too torn that even needle & thread can't fix us.
i know i hurt you, but in a way, i hurt myself too.
i know this sounds shit, and i'm not even portraying my
emotions in the right way.
but i don't even know what to say,
"i'm sorry" can only go so far,
maybe this time, time won't fix us.
maybe this time, we've turned to dust.
maybe this time, i've lost someone i love.

tell me i didn't eff things up.

i miss you.

i miss your smile.
i miss your hair.
i miss the way you'd hug me.
i miss the way you'd kiss my forehead.
i miss the way you'd hold my hand.
i miss your grumpy face.
i miss your "i love you"s.
i miss the way we use to lie on the grass and watch clouds drift by.
i miss the way we use to talk one the phone until midnight.
i miss us.