know that you are strong enough to turn it off.

only you have the power to break the chain.

i know you can do it.

it's going to be hard.

it's like the waves that push against the shore.

you just need to know that it's okay to be on your own.

sometimes you meet people who are just meant to test you.

i know you can turn it off.

you are strong enough to do this.

you have yourself. 

you can do this.

i believe in you. 

would you want to know what it's like,

when the whole world is against you,

when you feel like what you're feeling is completely unjustified,

but you can't seem to turn away?

when you know it's wrong,

and all you feel is a magnet pulling you closer to the devil.

and everyone talks about it like they know what it's like,

but they don't know,

but when I think about it, i realise that i don't belong in your world.

your world moves too fast

and i know that i will never be able to keep up.

 

 

matchstick

in a sea of emotion,

light up the match,

and let it fall.

12 DEC 2016

Hello.

It has been a while since I've written anything.

Actually, I'm no longer on my Eurotrip. I'm on my Asia trip. 

I'm sitting here in a little cafe in Osaka. 

I've had a lot of time to reflect today, being on my own. 

I'm a little bit nervous about going back home, starting my new job. I feel like there's all this pressure all over again... Just when I thought it was the end.

I'm going to be starting at job at one of the world's most prestigious financial services companies. 

To be honest, I never really thought I was going to be in business - there are all these super savvy business men and women out there. And when I look at myself, I just see this kinda quirky awkward little girl. I think I need to re-evaluate where I am, and what I can bring to the table. 

I am currently reading 'How to win friends and influence people'. I've been in this constant battle with understanding the facts VS understanding the people. I think ensuring that I can mathematically, scientifically or literally answer a problem better than someone else has been the bane of my existence. I've always acknowledged that studying has not been my strong point, it's not something that I enjoy, and getting the best grades is definitely something that I can't really resonate with. I guess the good thing is that the more that I read in this book, I begin to realise there are things that I have already been doing that are a good foundation for winning friends and influencing people. 

It has made me reflect on my life, and my interactions with people, and how I can get better at interacting with others. There is a whole chapter about smiling - something that comes to me naturally, and it's power. I want to try and be better, and remember to continually improve without being in a program where I am spoon fed. I have learnt that there is no point in me being afraid or intimidated by others, that one of the best ways to combat this is to concentrate on improving myself. Reading self-help books, and surrounding myself with positive people. I hope that you are smiling as you read this piece.

Stay smiling.

EUROTRIP 2016

Hi there, 

I'm writing this as I sit at Sydney's International Terminal, waiting to board my flight. Boarding starts in about 45 minutes. Just waiting for time to pass, so I thought I'd write up a blog post. I'm super excited to head over to Europe, there were some last minute changes, but that's alright. I'm going to be over there by myself, so I think I should be fine. I can't wait to land in London, and get started. I'm actually really looking forward to breakfast. Hopefully I'll be able to post blogs whilst I'm over there. 

Until the next blog, stay smiling.

x

Thank you ❣

It's sometimes a little funny to think how you find things you've been looking for in the most unexpected places. I can definitely tell you, I did not see this coming, maybe in my super sub conscious I had a yearning for something deeper than what I was up to every weekend. But I can still remember the rejection I pushed onto you, when you tried to pursue me. I didn't want it, I didn't want you. Sometimes I look back and I seriously can't even begin to understand how we managed to get to where we are today. But I think that there is a reason, a reason as to why I managed to break out of this shell I built for myself.

When you have the most amazing boyfriend who brings you ice cream when you're sick, makes you dinner and gives you a massage after a long day at work. ❤️

And if I had to put it down on paper,

there's something about you that makes me

want to be better. There is no combination of words 

and punctuation marks that can express 

how much happy you make me. 

And you've shown me what it's suppose to be like. 

 

"At the end of the day, people are going to judge you, 

so you might as well do what makes you happy."

Happy Birthday Jono ❤️😊

I can taste you whenever I close my eyes.

You wash over me like cotton candy syrup.

Pull on the marshmallow ropes,

And watch it rain gummy bears.

And I can finally see the rainbow, 

That was hidden amongst all the bullshit. 

Thank you for showing me how happy I could truly be.

And I think everything just happened to fall into place.

Even though I didn't know it at the time.

When I look back now, everything seems to make sense.

And I'm glad that my experience made me ready for you. 

I think I might be ready to let go, and fall.

"If we had a moment, we could ignite."

Home - Topic ft. Nico Santos

And did you ever stop to consider that maybe you're here

to give love to those who are broken?

20APRIL2016

And I hope that one day,

Our paths will collide again.

I'm thankful for the times we shared,

it was an amazing flood of emotions.

I hope there are still chapters to be written 

in this book...

That this is only an interlude to what could be.

And maybe one day, however long it may take

I'll find you by the water.

 

If you never let yourself go, you'll never know how far you can rise.

Is there a blue moon tonight? 

Skrux - My Love Is A Weapon ft. Delacey

I want to see all the parts that make up you.

I want to know touch the deepest parts of your soul.

And even if I don't know how to fit all the pieces together right now,
I would stick around to see even a glimpse of that light.

10APRIL2016

That night on the bridge, 

sitting in your arms, 

talking about what we could be.

The train whooshed past, 

lighting up the darkness,

"You're beautiful."

There's a reason why I'm still here,

and I can't promise that I'm always going to be,

All I know is that, 

there's no way I can walk away,

even if I wanted to.

Happy Birthday Dad 🎉😘👴🏼

 

"Thanks for taking care of me."

i'm going to see it out till the end,

like I always do.

don't be the rock that stops 

the river from flowing,

because in the end...

the water always washes away the rock.

Every single atom inside me lights up when you're around,

they pulsate, electrify...

So tell me why, it's so dark inside.

All I can see is the trail of lights that use to be.