If we fucking accept the love we think we deserve.

Does that make us fools if we accept the love, even if it's plagued by disease?

Do we become hopeless romantics, if we latch onto something destructive?

SOTD: Troye Sivan - FOOLS (Lyric Video)

"And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all."

If this is a game, I don't want to play victim.

Are we out of the woods yet?

People.

We have the capacity to love, but we can also shoot arrows that pierce holes.
And when we fall, we get up, we stitch together our wounds.
But the nightmares haunt us forever, holding our souls captive.
And every time we try to erase them, we end up back at square one.
And every time we try to break free, we know that there is no victory in this war.

RUSH

I think it's the deepest darkest parts of us that we fear most.

But I feel like it's these parts of us that remind us that we're human.

We have fears, desires that push us to crave what we can't have.

When we become consumed with darkness, 

We fight it, it teases us, itching for more attention.

And when we eventually let go, we know we have already lost,

But we're hung up, secretly wanting, needing more.

 

THE GROUNDS OF ALEXANDRIA.

Date Day

Sometimes you can't be nice to everyone, especially when they're taking you for granted.

SOTD: Zedd - Beautiful Now ft. Jon Bellion

SOTD: Shawn Mendes - Kid In Love (Audio)

SOTD: Shawn Mendes & Hailee Steinfeld - Stitches (Acoustic)

Absolutely hooked on this.

MYSTERY.

La Roux 'In For The Kill' - Skrillex remix

"I'm going in for the kill

I'm doing it for a thrill

Oh, I'm hoping you'll understand

And not let go of my hand"

One | Won?

Stop.

Take a moment, let it wash over you.

It's okay to cry, let it out. 

Close your eyes, jump into nothing.

You can fall

Freely, until something stops you.

But before you jump,

make sure you're ready to

open your eyes to who ultimately saves you.

 

When you're stuck in an awkward limbo and you don't know whether to hold on or let go.

HUMAN - KREWELLA

"They say pain is an illusion, this is just a bruise and you are just confused but i am only human."

I MADE IT!

Hi guys,

This is going to be a long post. 

As you can obviously guess from the title, I got the summer internship! 

I'm over the moon, I've been jumping around my house like a crazy girl. A little bit about my experience, so I woke up at 2:20AM on Monday, and I couldn't  fall back a sleep because the "what if" situations were consuming my mind. This is the first time I've been so nervous that I've woken up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to bed. What usually happens is, you know, roll around for a bit, and you fall back a sleep. Except that didn't happen... I rolled around until about 5:10AM... And I finally got to bed, and woke up at 7:00AM. 

 

So my interview was at 9:30 and you know I had a talk to the graduate recruiter, she was just giving me some background about what the program entailed - also side note, the reception were very nice. After we had a chat for about 10 minutes, I moved to the room next door and was greeted by 2 associate directors, and we just ran through some behavioural questions. They just wanted to know a bit more about my experiences. After I left, I wasn't feeling too confident, I mean I didn't think I did terribly, but as always, I'm my own worst critic. I was told that they would get back to me by Tuesday afternoon, so I turned my phone onto vibrate - usually I have it on mute.

 

On my way home, I decided to turn my phone to mute because it kept vibrating and it was wasting battery. Once I left the train station, I looked down at my phone - 1 MISSED CALL from an mobile number I didn't have stored. Played back the voice mail, and it was the associate director - it had literally been an hour since I left the building. I started freaking out because why would they call me back so quickly - had I been that bad that they already decided I wasn't going to get it? I called her back and she told me that she was really impressed with my answers and that I pretty much answered them the way they wanted me to, and she offered me the position.

 

So, I remember writing a post about not being academically gifted a while ago - I mean this is something that I think has been inherent in me since primary school - I'm usually the well-rounded person - but not the best, just good I guess at various things. I really wanted to know what I was good at, during high school my friends were all good at Math or Science - and I was kind of good at English - but not really. Having grown up in Asian culture, it's always been good grades - grades pretty much dictated everything. You needed good grades to get into a selective school, to get into a good university. And now I can finally say, I didn't get top grades, and I finally made it into a Big 4. So if you're worried about making it because your grades aren't good enough, I guess I'm your example of you can make it. I feel like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders - I think I finally proved myself. 

 

Don't let your grades define who you are. You are an individual, don't fall pressure to what others expect from you. Be true to yourself and when you are true to yourself, you can be anything.

Anyway, super long post. But I think I've given myself my best chance, and I'm so glad.

Until next time,

Stay true, stay smiling.

x 

 

QUICK UPDATE.

Hi all :)

Just a quick update on what's going on.

Not sure, if I've got any regulars who come back 

to my blog every now and then to see what's going on.

The semester is winding up now, 

I've officially submitted all assignments for this semester -

 fingers cross I don't do too badly -

 I mean I'm not really use to the formats of Social Science submissions, but here's hoping. 

~

So I don't think I've shared on my blog that I've been stressing out applying for internships. 

Back in March, I submitted 3 applications, and I was rejected from 2 of them, 

and was still waiting for a reply from the last one.

 Just a bit of background and context - I had submitted 2 video interviews - 

I personally thought my interview for A was better than B. 

I got rejected from A a couple weeks ago, so I felt that I had no chance.

I mean it has been three months since I submitted my application.

 During this time, I've been applying endless to and HR volunteer jobs and HR internships (UNPAID)

 I was so upset that I got rejected from an unpaid position, .

I haven't heard anything back - so not going to lie, I was not feeling hopeful about my chances.

So yesterday I received a phone call from B telling me I've made it to the final stage - I'm really shocked, and a super nervous, my interview is on Monday - it goes for an hour,

not really sure what we're going to talk about for an hour.

I think the point of this post is to say that, you shouldn't give up, even when things seem helpless.

I mean, I was complaining to Brendan, telling him that no one wants me - even for a volunteer unpaid position. I mean, I haven't received an offer or anything, but I think it's a really good achievement

to make it this far, so I'm really proud of myself.

I'll let you know how the interview goes - fingers cross it goes well.

Until next time.

x

 

 

 

SOTD: Calvin Harris - We Belong Outside ft. Taylor Swift

Here's one for all you Taylor Swift & Calvin Harris fans.

Thinking about revamping my blog soon.
I have a couple ideas, but we'll see how it goes. :)
In the mean time, just an update about how I'm going.
It's nearing the end of the semester and because I only have 1 final exam, I have 3 hand in assignments/ exams before the end of semester. I'm not going to lie, I was super stressed before I started them, but I think even though the due date is near, and I haven't completed them, at least I'm on the way to completing them, and I know I'll definitely get them done.
Also another update, I booked tickets to go to Melbourne for the winter break, so looking forward to that too.
Anyway, until next time.
x